3 things I wish someone had told me about life in your 40s

I see you, fellow millennials. We’ve been through it. From recessions, to pandemics, to a never-ending stream of “unprecedented times,” it’s no wonder the idea of a midlife crisis exists. But you know what I’m noticing? It’s not all doom and gloom. There’s something powerful happening under the surface, our generation is turning the so-called midlife crisis into a midlife reinvention.

If your 20s were for figuring things out, and your 30s were about building - careers, families, identities - then your 40s? They’re for getting clear on what actually matters. Not what you were told should matter, what really brings you joy. You’re not chasing anymore, you’re curating. You’re editing your life with intention.

Nobody hands you a guide for this part, but if they had, here are 3 things I wish were in it:

1. You can still start something new.

Seriously. You’re not behind. I used to feel a little bit of panic and like I missed some sort of boat on this one, but here’s the truth: Martha Stewart built her empire in her 40s, Vera Wang didn’t start designing dresses until 40, Julia Child wrote her first cookbook at 50. I became a content creator at 40 and it’s the most me I’ve ever felt.

For years, I dismissed my creative side thinking I didn’t have enough time or energy for it. But after becoming a mom and feeling completely depleted - I said enough. What’s stopping me from fully stepping in to my creative self knowing how much joy it used to bring me? And once I finally listened, I stopped feeling like I was starting from scratch. Instead I saw it as: I’m starting from experience. That meant more confidence, more grit, and a deeper trust in myself to figure things out. Plus, I’ve learned to laugh at my mistakes - a gift my 40s have brought me. Sure, doubt and insecurity still show up, but now I have the tools to push past them and keep moving forward.

2. You honor your boundaries.

Somewhere along the way, you just stop people-pleasing. You don’t owe anyone long explanations. You know what drains you and what lights you up. And “no” starts to roll off the tongue with way less guilt. And if you have people in your life who don’t honor your boundaries, you have no problem walking away. But the real shift? It’s not just about walking away from what doesn’t serve you—it’s about walking toward the people who do. The ones who honor your boundaries, protect your peace, and stand beside you when you're holding the line. They remind you of your worth on the hard days and gently guide you back to yourself when you start to doubt. Learning to choose those kinds of relationships has been one of the most important (and freeing) lessons to date.

I used to think saying no or stepping back meant I was quitting or worse, letting someone down. But now I see it differently. It’s not rejection, it’s clarity. Protecting your time, energy, and peace is one of the most loving things you can do - not just for yourself, but for the people you care about. Because when you’re rooted in joy, that energy radiates to everyone around you.

3. Your health becomes non-negotiable.

At some point, “slept wrong” becomes a perfectly valid excuse for a stiff neck lasting days. But it’s more than that -this decade teaches you just how crucial your energy, sleep, mindset, and movement really are.

The truth is, most of us don’t pause long enough to check in with ourselves. We push through exhaustion, ignore the stress signals, and treat rest like a reward instead of a requirement. But I’ve learned that if you don’t make time for your mental and physical health, your body and mind will eventually demand it.

My time feels more precious than ever, so I’ve become intentional about balancing life while tending to my well-being. Sure, I wish I had long mornings for workouts and quiet afternoons for mental health breaks—but self-care looks different in this season. Sometimes my house stays messier because I choose to spend that time in the garden, which fills me up in a way a clean bedroom never could. Sometimes I respond to emails after my kid goes to bed so I can squeeze in a midday walk or workout class.

It’s not about doing it all; it’s about choosing what matters, even in small pockets of time. Self-care doesn’t have to be grand or perfect. It just has to be yours. And making space for what truly nourishes you is one of the most powerful things you can do.

The bottom line here? Your 40s don’t have to be a crisis,
They can be a coming home,
To yourself,
To your values,
To the life you actually want to live.
To the things that bring you JOY.
And honestly? That’s a kind of freedom I never saw coming, but I’m so grateful it’s here.